I’ve never been a huge fan of “little age.” Perhaps I haven’t connected or understand that part of ABDL yet. I understand the reasoning or backing behind the idea, and think there might even be a cuteness factor there, but it doesn’t resonate with me yet. That being said, I have been thinking for a while now about today without realizing it was today.
So much has happened in the last year, but I feel it would make sense to highlight a few things and show some appreciation for those who have impacted my life. Some of the “big rocks” if you will.
Myself – Something changed, or a need arose, in my life to allow diapers to help me cope with my life. I see diapers primarily as a coping mechanism, and while I sit here padded in one of my favorite diapers, I am able to balance the mounting number of tasks that have stacked up before me this week. I’ve been able to be comforted and brought more peace while working on a myriad of different items.
I allowed myself to change my own perspective of myself. Instead of beating myself up and shaming myself on all the things that must be wrong with me because I have a desire, affinity, or attraction toward diapers and began to accept part of who I am in an effort to allow it to make me a better person. Diapers have continued to teach me about myself over the course of the last twelve months. I’m sure they will continue to teach me about my little side (something I don’t completely understand but have been trying to embrace more and more as the it presents itself)
Spouse – My wife, the rockstar that she is, has hung on and been such a great part of the last year. We persist in keeping open and honest communication, and while it is not always what I want to hear I know that she is letting me know what she truly feels.
We have made leaps and bounds (in both directions). Some conversations are great, some not so great, but we always strive to find somewhere to land that will help us progress together. I appreciate her so much, and her willingness to listen to me as I work to understand myself more and more. I don’t think I could have accepted myself in any form without her allowing the opportunity for her to accept me as well. So many things I said to her were vocalized for the first time outloud for me as well. Not ideal, but we continue to work together. Again, she’s amazing!
This blog – I have found more than I realize that this blog has been therapeutic for me. My vision and goal has always been to help others who are looking for answers themselves, but like any good thing the more I put into it the more it gives back to me. I can still remember sitting at my desk, hammering out the first five or six pages into a Google Doc that would become this blog, and my further understanding of myself as an ABDL.
ABDL Community & Friends – The scary search for someone, anyone, else that might understand me. Other ABDLs know what will often come up in search when you begin typing anything about Adult Babies or Diapers Lovers into a search engine. The internet, as a whole, isn’t the most comforting place when you try to learn more about something like this. That being said, there are people and places that really have made a difference in my life. Many, many people have communicated with me that have helped me shape my view of myself. To those people, I am truly in your debt for your willingness to help me learn a little more about who I am.
Ames, Seth, and the others that were the first that I began interacting with on Adisc and Twitter, thank you. There have been so many others, but those two are the first two that really helped me begin the journey that I’m on now. Also, much love to the amazing group of ABDLs that have gathered together with me on our Discord server where we continue to learn and grow together. (If you would like to join us, please reach out to me)
While I don’t know what the next year will entail I can only hope that the momentum created over the last year will continue. I hope to continue to strengthen my relationship with my wife, and build more friendships with other ABDLs.