Turning Red

In the middle of a movie that talks about a girl finding her place and owning her own truth I found connection in the way ABDLs search for acceptance and understanding with ourselves and those around us.  While no story or relationship can be completely apples to apples I feel there are some common themes that we can take into the conversations we are having with ourselves, each other, and our loved ones.

“People have all kinds of sides to them. And some sides are messy. The point isn’t to push the bad stuff away. It’s to make room for it, live with it.” – Jin

The father, Jin, takes a back seat in the lens of the film, but steps in to bring home what Mei needed to hear as she was town with who she was.  Who has this been in your life?  We all need a cheerleader/advocate, and hers was her father in her journey to choose if she would accept part of herself. 

I’m finally figuring out who I am. But I’m scared it will take me away from you. -Mei

I have definitely had a version of this conversation with myself.  The more I have allowed diapers to not be hidden from myself, allowed the concept of acceptance, and travelled down a path of embracing myself I have increased the amount of anxiety of the possibility they would create a wedge between myself and my wife.  Sitting here on a trip with my wife, diapered, I feel we are far from the worry that Mei had, but it exists in my mind.  I would never let anything get between our relationship so I keep a constant eye on how we are doing, and if diapers could be causing any animosity or strife in our relationship.  

Nothing stays the same forever.  We’ve all got an inner beast.  We’ve all got a messy, loud weird part of ourselves hidden away, and a lot of us never let it out, but I did. How ‘bout you? – Mei

The closing line of the movie.  ABDLs all find some connection to this quote, and where we are on the journey of letting that messy and loud part of ourselves out is the difference.  I hid it away for decades, and tried to make it disappear.  In the last three years I have chosen to let the beast out, and accept what I had previously hidden away.  

I hope that you can find the place and space to do the same thing.  Love ALL of who you are.  I promise you there is room in your heart and mind for it.  You can love yourself when you are wearing a diaper.  God does.

Love yourself

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