A week without wearing

Recently as I’ve been trying to normalize some of the things in my life again I’ve picked back up a HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) workout routine and am beginning to reincorporate running into my life.  With this wanted change comes the need to make some modifications to my daily routine as well to help dial things back in to where I need them to be to help my body be prepared to run.  One of these adjustments has been the need to find the root of some knee pain that I’m having.  

This pain/discomfort comes with wearing diapers.  The additional padding between my legs that causes the “waddle” pushes pressure to the outside of my knees, and one of them takes most of the change in my gaite.  I am sad that it took me as long as it did to realize what was happening this time around because I was feeling more and more pain from my knee.  I changed the chair that I work in, and also worked to straighten up when I’m sitting at work.  

This need for change came at a time when many other stresses and pressures were occurring in my life.  A time when I would typically reach for a diaper to escape.  It has been a week since I’ve worn a diaper, and I’ve been able to weather the storm of emotion fairly well.  

While the pain is not gone I feel the pain is getting better.  I have been wearing a brace when working out, and I just got in a neoprene brace to wear during other activities.  I’m hoping to be able to balance out my knee’s health and the mental/emotional health that comes from wearing a diaper.

I realize there is a good parallel in my current situation with the small and meaningful adjustments that we need to occasionally make in our lives.  These small adjustments in our lives yield the fruits of lasting change in our life.  Remember that whether you are working through personal acceptance of yourself or navigating the conversations of who you are with your spouse that it is the little wins that often matter most.  You have a mountain in your head, but must remember that it is each step up the trail, switchback after switchback, that will help you achieve the summit.  

We will slip.  Our knees will hurt.  There will be times that we do not perform some of the foundational things in our lives which make those steps easy or possible.  It is okay to slip because that is part of life.  The important part is dusting off your clothes and getting back up.

Sometimes we can’t always have a diaper on, and those are moments of growth as well.  We must create a well-rounded approach to life, and leverage many things to help balance us out.  Make sure that diapers are not the only tool in your toolbox.  It is a fluffy, comfortable, and crinkly tool but make sure you find others.  

I’ve taken this time without diapers to reflect and remember that I’m so much more than just an ABDL.  It is part of who I am, and I continue to work for that personal, complete acceptance of myself but it is not all of who I am.  

Will I pad back up?  Most likely.  

Am I avoiding diapers right now?  Only for the physiological benefits of recovering my knee.

Have I purged them from my house?  Nope, I hope to never do that again.

A little better, each day

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

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