During a recent conversation with my wife about a variety of things going on in our lives we pivoted to diapers. I cannot recall why as we had been focusing on things that she is currently carrying as mother, wife, and professional.
A struggle of mine that has been decades long has been self worth. Less often now, but much more often in the past I would use self-deprecating humor as a mechanism to express how little I feel I am worth. For some reason that I haven’t been able to find the origin of I have always thought very little of myself. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that my own thoughts and desires to wearing a diaper are connected in some way. Leveraging them as a coping mechanism helps me feel some escape and peace from external stressors, but also bring about another avenue of self hate or shame that can come. I feel that I have made headway in this part of my life, but it still exists.
In this conversation my wife made the point to tell me that she loved me. She then reiterated her point again and told me specifically that she loved her diaper-wearing husband. I don’t know if she realized the impact that those specific words had on me. We don’t talk about diapers often, and little nudges or reminders that she loves me, every part of me, helps me to love myself a little more.
To any spouses of an ABDL I hope that you acknowledge the power of your communication to your little. Studies show that roughly 93% of communication is non-verbal. To that I tell you that the 7% of verbal communication is so important and powerful. Talking and sharing with your spouse is so very, very important. We are often struggling to understand our own emotions and thoughts. For me, it was the first time that I had verbalized most of my diaper-related thoughts. I learned as much as she did the first times we talked, and I find that writing is still an amazing outlet for me because I can learn how I feel. I’m done with bottling it up, and hiding myself from myself.
The other 93% is also important. Spouses, family member, or friend please try hard to not recoil from your ABDL. Extend them compassion and love. We often don’t love ourselves, and your touch/hug/smile means the world to us. It is not an easy task that has been presented to you, but please try to understand with us who we are as an Adult Baby Diaper Lover.
Small, beautiful reminders