I’m still me, even in diapers. The powerful realization that despite all the shame and self bashing of how I must be a horrible person for having a connection with diapers that I am still able to do good things. I am still able to be useful to God and his Son.
Standing in front of large groups, at the helm of a large effort, all while wearing a diaper. These moments are powerful for me in my acceptance as an Adult Baby or Diaper Lover. It allows me the opportunity to know I am able to balance and control the influence diapers have in my life.
In the past few months my wife has noticed that I have been wearing them in public more often. This worries her because she fears someone finding out and the lack of understanding that would follow. Each ABDL knows this. We know that the world at large does not view us very kindly. I have wondered what opportunities or parts of my life would change if it was publicly known that I wear diapers. A layer could be added to that if they knew that I wore them as a preference or choice, not out of incontinence or other necessity.
We know this ourselves as Adult Babies or Diaper Lovers. We often grow up feeling that way about ourselves. Telling ourselves the same things. I still will pass by a mirror, and have those thoughts come back to me. Here is a grown man, wearing an adult diaper with colorful prints on them, and liking it. Choosing to do so, and receiving positive emotions and outcomes because of it. There lays the struggle. We often wrestle between the feelings that diapers provide us, and what we see through the world’s lens.
We fight and binge/purge diapers throughout our lives. We return because of how they make us feel. That warm blanket, that feeling of peace and security envelopes us and welcomes us back. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t worn a diaper for a day, month, or years that feeling returns.
I continue to work to balance when I’m wearing to help our relationship. While I don’t want to wear all the time I still don’t want it to be in her face all the time. I’m not the best juggler, but continue to work on it. It bring back the concept and conversation of “control.”
We must drive the diapers, don’t let the diapers drive you. We must continue to ask ourselves “Who’s at the helm? Do I allow diapers to rule my decisions and guide my life, or do I use them as a tool to help me live a full and meaningful life?” Work everyday to keep yourself driving the ship that is your life. We can be a little better, each and every day. For me, that “better” comes from being proud of who I am and what I’ve done. I have worth, diapers and all. That can only come from within. When we begin to accept ourselves, our whole selves, we can truly change our course (or our stars, if you are a fan “A Knight’s Tale). Take the reins of your life, and your desire or affinity to wear diapers.