I recently shared in an earlier post about how important timing is.
Most of us spend years worrying about this conversation, and others like it. I honestly felt that when I got married that new part of my life with my wife, and eventually children, would fill whatever part of my life needed diapers. Eventually I realized that my hopes were incorrect, and diapers found their way back into my life. That mindset took the timing of telling my wife before marriage out of the picture.
The unintentional part of this recent conversation with my wife was that the longer we talked about someone else and their situation the more the conversation turned in on our own experiences. With the intention of helping someone else, I ended up causing a set back in the progress that my wife and I had been making.
I wasn’t made aware of this until a few days after the conversation, but it made me realize that even the best of intentions may have unintended consequences. We were able to talk through the concerns, but no one likes to be in that situation. They are painful reminders of how fragile emotions can be.
My takeaway, and what I want to share with other ABDLs out there is to be careful. Work extra hard to be mindful of the state of your own relationship and the emotional state of your spouse. Even when I thought we were in a place to have a conversation like this it still went sideways, and caused us to have to rebuild a bit a few days later down the road. I had no indication that it had affected her the way it did, so she was left to her own devices for the next few days until we were able to discuss it and get to a better place.
Writing about this is not easy. No one wants to share their faults and missteps, but I feel it important to be vulnerable to the other littles out there. The road I am travelling is not gold-plated or rainbow-colored. We encounter pot holes and pain along our path, but together we have been able to become stronger and better together.
Do we have room to grow, and more mountains to climb?
I know that we will be able to do it together, if we keep our minds on the things that matter most.