Baby steps are foundational to us making lasting changes in our lives. These steps are in no way limited to only the journey of an ABDL. In a discussion with my wife this week we talked about the importance of implementing small, smart changes in our lives that can build to lasting changes.
All too often we “bite off more than we can chew” and try to make a change that is not sustainable. We decide we want to lose ALL the weight or completely stop doing something cold turkey. While I do not want to belittle the “cold turkey” approach because it has its place and can be the best tool in change with some habits or addictions that we want/need to remove from our lives as quickly as possible. For the rest of change or behavior modification we must take a different approach.
“How do you eat an elephant?”
One bite at a time.
We all have elephants in our lives, and we must each find out how many bites and what size of bites are digestible without adverse effects to our bodies.
Recognizing success and progression is a very important part of this process. All too often we disparage our own little wins, and miss the progression we are experiencing. This is where our companions, friends, and family become a pivotal part of long-term change.
I attribute my wife’s presence and perspective in my acknowledgement of my most recent baby step towards acceptance, growth, and improvement of myself in relation to wearing diapers as a tool in being the best version of myself.
In a recent post I made the comment, ”Hang on, isn’t this supposed to be a blog about being an adult who has chosen to wear diapers?! It was in this moment while working through something else that I realized that I had used the decision to wear diapers in the past tense. While this seemed very small at the onset I realized that there was power and meaning behind the way that I referred to myself and my choice to pad up.
I had referred to my choice in the past tense. To me, in that moment, I had realized for the first time that I had made the choice to wear diapers, and was progressing past that. It wasn’t some inconsistent or wobbly wording. I had made a choice that I was recognized and owning up to. Something I thought I had done a long time ago, but perhaps hadn’t seen myself recognize or publicize it in that way.
Look out for those moments in your own journey. Are you missing moments of progression? Are you missing nonverbal communications that your spouse, girl/boy friend, family member, or friend is telling you? Most studies show that 70-93% of communications is nonverbal, and sometimes we are so focused on the words that are coming out of our mouths that we miss what they are communicating to us. (I know for me that most of the time I’m communicating with my wife that it is the first time I’m vocalizing these thoughts. I am less tuned to all of her communications because I’m also processing the words coming out of my own mouth.)
While part of this journey is mine alone, I am recognizing more and more that my full acceptance and allowance of myself to wear a diaper is coupled with the amazing relationship that I have with my wife. Now that I’ve shared this part of who I am with her we continue on the journey together. Are all of our conversations 100% amazing and perfect? No, and that happens because of a myriad of reasons. Some are:
- She has her internal stresses
- I have my internal stresses
- She has her external forces acting upon her
- I have my own external forces that are acting up me
- We have children whom also have their own internal stresses and external forces
- We are both flawed, imperfect humans
Each conversation is unique to the circumstances that present themselves at the time we are able to talk. Are our conversations getting consistently better? Absolutely. Because:
- We are becoming better communicators
- We provide better space for each other to share
- Through time and experience we get better in seeing each other’s triggers or signals that something is amiss
Wherever you are in your journey (alone or with someone else) remember that it is a process. Anything worth doing will require small course corrections and changes. Make each day just a little bit better than the one before.