During a recent conversation with my wife about a variety of things going on in our lives we pivoted to diapers. I cannot recall why as we had been focusing on things that she is currently carrying as mother, wife, and professional.
A struggle of mine that has been decades long has been self worth. Less often now, but much more often in the past I would use self-deprecating humor as a mechanism to express how little I feel I am worth. For some reason that I haven’t been able to find the origin of I have always thought very little of myself. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that my own thoughts and desires to wearing a diaper are connected in some way. Leveraging them as a coping mechanism helps me feel some escape and peace from external stressors, but also bring about another avenue of self hate or shame that can come. I feel that I have made headway in this part of my life, but it still exists.
In this conversation my wife made the point to tell me that she loved me. She then reiterated her point again and told me specifically that she loved her diaper-wearing husband. I don’t know if she realized the impact that those specific words had on me. We don’t talk about diapers often, and little nudges or reminders that she loves me, every part of me, helps me to love myself a little more.
To any spouses of an ABDL I hope that you acknowledge the power of your communication to your little. Studies show that roughly 93% of communication is non-verbal. To that I tell you that the 7% of verbal communication is so important and powerful. Talking and sharing with your spouse is so very, very important. We are often struggling to understand our own emotions and thoughts. For me, it was the first time that I had verbalized most of my diaper-related thoughts. I learned as much as she did the first times we talked, and I find that writing is still an amazing outlet for me because I can learn how I feel. I’m done with bottling it up, and hiding myself from myself.
The other 93% is also important. Spouses, family member, or friend please try hard to not recoil from your ABDL. Extend them compassion and love. We often don’t love ourselves, and your touch/hug/smile means the world to us. It is not an easy task that has been presented to you, but please try to understand with us who we are as an Adult Baby Diaper Lover.
Small, beautiful reminders
Photo by Emma Bauso from Pexels
Aberrantly Me 
It’s great to hear that she’s learning to accept all of you. Do you think she would ever get to the point that she would wear with you, or is that not something you would want? Speaking personally I feel like being able to share it as a couple is the ideal, but I don’t think everyone feels the same way.
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I think that there are many, many ways that you could share it as a couple. Wearing together is definitely one of those, but probably in the vast minority of what actually happens between a couple.
I appreciate my wife’s acceptance, even at the level that it is now. We will see what the future holds. 🙂
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I disagree and know that’s in the minority. Most people want the caregiver to remain the caregiver, not share in that little space. The “mommy” doesn’t become the baby.
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That’s a very good point.
Each couple will find their way to share our interact with this together. Our relationship’s interaction with this has evolved over time.
I am thankful for where I am now, and for what our future holds.
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My wife and I switched back and forth in our 42 year marriage. We never really discussed it or scheduled it we just knew we were switching. Like after a surgery she had on her female parts and had trouble getting out of bed we knew who would benefit from playing the baby for a while. Though it switched off and on I would speculate I was her baby about 75% of the time. It was more natural that way for us. It also led to some exciting adventures for doing a diaper change, like at a rest stop or the changing room at Walmart. Anyway I was babied by two girls in the sixth grade and she had to be a baby in her Girl Scouts one time for misbehaving, so we both had experience in being humiliated. I guess that’s why God brought us together. Now I’m incontinent so she diapers me 24/7. Not being embarrassed about it to our friends and neighbors took some courage but we got through it one episode at a time. Now our adult nursing period of five years is a story for next time. 😊
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