Every diaper is different

Three different runs, with three different coaches, that all brought a similar message back to me. I had been really struggling with myself, and many of the pressures and stresses that surrounded me.  Here, in the quiet and dark I found the voices of a pre-recorded, guided run telling me a similar message (perhaps that is what I gleaned from each of them because that is what I was searching for.  I feel that way about General Conference.  “Seek and ye shall find.”  We will get our answers, but the key is what we will do with it.)  Back to my runs…

In the dark of the morning I occupy my mind with music to help me ignore the fact that I breathe like I’m about to give birth (seriously, when my headphones die it is NOT a good experience).  The difference in these runs was the addition of a run coach that provides a cadence for an allotted time period. In each of these runs I found myself getting a similar answer.  The pursuit of self improvement, and the roadblocks that can present themselves.  I have been asking myself over and over (even though I have a good idea of the answer already), “why can’t I just run like I did before?  Why do I feel incapable of getting back to where I was?”

I had to realize that I am not the person I was the last time I was getting in shape.  I’m not even the same person than I was the last time I’d laced up. We evolve, we change, we progress or regress.  This experience of getting in shape or pushing through a trial would not be same as the last time because neither I or the trail were the same.  While there are some universalities within and around us no two situations will be the same.  The same principle can be applied to our lives in/with diapers

Every time we tape up, we are a little bit different as a person. Every single wear is unique and every experience we have with them is unique. We have a lot of input and choice regarding what that experience will be like.  Sometimes we proactively pad up, and other times it is because of external stressors.

Perfect doesn’t exist because it is static and a destination.  The perfect ABDL doesn’t exist because things constantly change, but the perfect diaper (for that day) can exist.  We are constantly evolving, and our goals change because we change!  A constant moving target that we are compensating and adjusting for in an effort to be our best selves.

One of the guided runs said, “It’s easier to downplay our own accomplishments and achievements.” We quickly forget all the little wins we have (in and out of adult diapers and our little side) and we focus on that one look in the mirror of shame instead of embracing the child of God that we see.

“The prison wasn’t a place it was the perception”

Change how you look at things. Change how you look at yourself.  Free yourself from the mental prison we enslave ourselves in.  

Smile at that person in the mirror, diaper and all!

Photo by Markus Spiske