I sense a theme in my own life as I had written potential post ideas down for later conceptualization and developing thoughts into words for a post. The three latest topics I have written down refer to action and discretion. This is the first I have decided to revisit because it is the oldest on my list in the grouping. There are other ideas farther down the line, but this thematic group of how we make decisions as adults choosing to engage in babyish activity has caught my eye.
This specific line of thought appears to have began with reading a tweet about an Adult Baby who chose to answer the door to a delivery (we’ll call it pizza or food or something) while dressed in Adult Baby attire and holding a teddy bear. The tweet made me feel that the individual knew the delivery was coming and choose how they would answer the door. This choice is mild compared to others I’ve read where people are dressed much differently or not at all presenting themselves to the unknowing other party in only a diaper.
Thus the title of the post comes into focus.
Because I CAN do something, doesn’t necessarily mean I should do something.
When I was a little kid I remember going to the grocery store with my mother. We were purchasing ingredients to make a cake for someone or something. I really like icing! Who doesn’t?! I can remember sitting in the car after we left the store and telling her that “when I am an adult I will buy cake icing and eat it WHENEVER I want!”
I am now aforementioned adult. Does that sound like a very good idea? Very much YES, and also not so much at the same time. 🙂
There is a “little” part of me that wants to indulge in such sugar-filled shenanigans while a much more sane and balanced voice of reason reminds of me the various impacts of spooning copious amounts of sugar into my mouth. Just because I can go into my fridge right now, and grab the half-used icing doesn’t mean that I should.
We must exercise restraint, (in my opinion) especially as adult babies. We have a version of ourselves we struggle to accept and understand. Part of that “little side” that is in many of us wants to run straight to the fridge and eat icing! I have hardly accepted who I am, and I can completely understand why the world is very wary at looking at what ABDL is and having a negative reaction to it. This is why when I wear out in public it is discrete. I do not overtly flaunt or present my diapers and/or little side to the world. I could choose to answer the door the next time we are getting a delivery in some form of ABDL attire, but I choose not to. Not because I don’t accept myself as an ABDL, but because I don’t want to push/force it into the view of others. There is a subtle way that I choose to wear my badge of ABDL in public, and I feel it balances who I am inside with the person I present to the world on a daily basis.
Delayed gratification and marshmallows
The tweet and thoughts above couple with a study about delayed gratification regarding children being presented with a marshmallow and instruction that they could have one small reward now, or two small rewards if they were willing to wait. How often are we able to avoid the hedonistic desire to shove that fluffy ball of sugar cloud into our mouths as soon as we are given the chance? How often are we willing to put off lots of small choices to help us make much bigger and more impactful decisions in our lives.
This premise works with:
- Weight loss
- Paying off loans/debts
- Addiction recovery
- Goal setting in general
We must be patient, and willing, to weather the storms of life during certain seasons of our journey. The world has made it more and more enticing to consume now, and worry later.
Follow up studies have occurred since the 1972 experiment that show how varying factors in our lives affect our desire to reach for the marshmallow. What foundation are we setting for ourselves when the marshmallow is placed in front of us? Also as a father I add, “What foundation are we setting for our children so they can also succeed?”
The study stated that “Individuals that had better self-control also demonstrated greater cognition in learning tests.” This data point is not a result of the marshmallow, but of the conditioning the individuals received BEFORE they were presented with a marshmallow. The foundation we lay for ourselves becomes pivotal for all aspects of our lives. How I live my life as an ABDL is definitely part of that.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t “live your best life” and accept and embrace who you are, but be prudent and deliberate in how you choose to live that life as an individual, spouse, parent, and member of society.
Be careful, be cautious, and have the desire for long-term vision and planning in our lives. I believe we really can have our cake, and eat it too, if we are willing to eat a few less marshmallows in the moment. To quote a movie, “What we do in life echoes in eternity.”
Let’s work hard to make the best decisions we can for ourselves (including our little sides), our spouses and children, and those around us.
We truly are better together!
Photo by Karolina Grabowska
Aberrantly Me 