Learning to understand my aberrant self. Working through my “big three” with the discussions around ABDL (Adult Baby, Diaper Lover) in my personal, professional, religious, and family life.
I’ve gone diapered this last few mornings. Not a normal start of the day for me. Since getting some new diapers that are lower cut I gave them a try at work and really liked them. One of the two days I wore a booster as well, which was a bonus. It has been interesting … Continue reading Maybe it’s not binge/purge
It happened. The thought entered my mind again, but in a new way. Get rid of the things, because throwing something away is the best way to never think about it again. (not so much). The difference in this thought process, as opposed to my previous binge/purge thoughts, is that it surrounds the digital footprint … Continue reading Binge and Purge, digitally and diapers
General Conference October 2020 – Saturday Afternoon Session – Bishop W. Christopher Waddell Calamities and trials WILL come in our lives. They can be personal or general in nature, and vary in severity and impact. Diapers find themselves, in my own life at least, on both sides of this conversation. They have been the trial, … Continue reading There will be bread
I’m beginning a series of workshop classes that will span over the coming months. I really enjoyed working through a previous series (Heart-to-Heart), and drawing parallels to my ABDL life. While I’m sitting here with CEOs, directors, and other leaders talking about their expectations of the coursework I am also drawing links in my own … Continue reading Problem Solving (a series) – Beginning
We all have experiences that shape our lives. These might be huge events or small moments in the history of our lives, but they occur. There are times these experiences become immediately useful to us, and other times we may not incorporate them into who we are for years. There are lesser times, unfortunate times, … Continue reading The moments we might not even remember
I’m still me, even in diapers. The powerful realization that despite all the shame and self bashing of how I must be a horrible person for having a connection with diapers that I am still able to do good things. I am still able to be useful to God and his Son. Standing in front … Continue reading Standing proud, even while padded
The last year has taught me a lot about myself. I’m learning how much I didn’t allow myself to understand about myself. I spent three decades trying to hide part of myself from anyone else, but more importantly from myself. I would binge amidst feelings and desires I didn’t understand, and then be ashamed of … Continue reading One minute of patience
I still don’t completely understand the allure and draw of diapers for myself. You’d think after years and years with them that I’d have a much more structured and solid cause and effect understanding of them. Yet, this morning I felt like I should wear one to work so I slipped one on and headed … Continue reading Padded peace
On my way into work this morning I was listening to a podcast. My listening behaviors or tastes are all over the place. I find myself listening to various genres on Audible (I welcome your suggestions in the comments, PLEASE!), both fiction and non-fiction, as well as pretty much any type of music depending on … Continue reading Control
Growing up with diapers I internally struggled to understand myself. Decades later I understand how ineffective this is, and how I should have sought to talk with someone. I did make one, feeble, attempt at reaching out to my mother but I don’t know how it would have gone. The last thing a parent wants … Continue reading Slow and Steady is winning the race!
