Parents looking for answers – You’re Not Alone – Chapter 12

I didn’t write near as many notes for this chapter as I read it as many of the others in this book.  For me, I struggled with what perspective and purpose I would take in sharing with those who end up reading.  I, like almost everyone else who will read this, was at one point the topic of this chapter.  Almost all of us have been a TBDL (Teen Baby Diaper Lover).  We stumbled around in the darkness and said, “What am I?!”

My clearest direction and thought has been to direct my thoughts to parents.  To those who may be reading this or searching for an answer to the question “why does my son or daughter want to wear diapers?”

I can promise you that your child has asked themselves the same question over and over within the walls of their mind and soul.  We struggle to understand why we would want to do something like this, and when puberty hits us we then are bombarded with the addition of a hormonal response to diapers as well.

This is not a simple thing, and it is not an easy thing.  Often we don’t feel there are any avenues for us to turn to because we are so ashamed or scared of what we are.

Above all I want parents to hear that diapers do not define your amazing child.  They are reaching for them for one of many reasons, and those reasons can vary.  A huge key for me has been to understand that I can be the very best version of myself whether I am wearing a diaper or not.  I am capable of being a worthy husband, father, friend, and provider while ALSO being an ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lover).

I finally decided, after decades of trying to “fix” myself, that I could and should allow myself the space to understand that self acceptance and the ability to embrace the person I see in the mirror was a healthier and vastly more successful approach to living my best life.  

Parents, should you have the opportunity, the blessing, the chance to discuss this with your children please do not spoil it.  Seize the chance to make a larger difference in your child’s life than you may ever realize.  You will have few opportunities to get this right, and I urge you to be prepared to actively listen to what your child will try their best to share with you.  I can tell you that when I shared with my wife I did not say many things right the first, second, or third time.  I was learning in the moment who I was as things came out of my mouth.  Please, please, please listen to understand, and do not listen for them to stop talking so you can reply.

Listen to them and love them.  Don’t only tell them that you love them.  Show them that you love them.

I can not quantify the impact and importance of a hug from a parent, spouse, or loved one.  The embrace of love that lets an TBDL or ABDL know you genuinely care for them, diapers and all, means the entire world to them.

A few days ago I was changing clothes with my wife so we could leave and have a family evening together where I was standing in front of her in a diaper.  She stopped what she was doing, looked me in the eyes, and said “I love you.  I love you, diapers and all.”

That moment, along with the others that have come before it, have given me the foundation to live my best life as I continue to understand what diapers mean to me.  I am still learning, I am still growing, I am evolving.  So is your child or loved one.  

If you are experiencing this in your life right now please know that my door is ALWAYS open.  Please reach out.  I know what it feels like as someone wanting to wear a diaper, and I can now empathize as a parent of my children.  Whichever side you find yourself on, please know I am here to listen and help however I can.


Be gentle.


Love them.

Photo by cottonbro


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