We get so tired with our desire to wear diapers. Something that has been placed on our shoulders that we didn’t ask for.
How long do we wait for relief?
So many of our questions surrounding diapers begin with “Why?” We ask why a trail or burden has been placed upon us. I say tirail or burden because I grew up thinking diapers were my burden. Diapers were something that was wrong with me, and something that made me bad or different in some way. While they do make me aberrant I continually work to allow them to be something helpful in my life.
This shift in thinking was not overnight, and it was also not a single internal or interpersonal conversation. It took decades of searching, pleading, crying, hurting, and despairing. I found myself asking, as many others have, to have this burden removed from me. Why must I have this burden, and why am I asked to suffer from it?
“While we work and wait together for the answer to our prayers, I offer you my apostolic primrose that they heard, and they are answered. Though perhaps not at the time or in the way that we wanted, but they are ALWAYS answered at the time and in the way that an omniscient and eternally compassionate parent should answer them.”
Elder Holland teaches that God’s love for us, His pure love, is put above all else that matters to him. Our views and perspectives of mortality are so drastically different, and I believe that is where our mortality shows.
Parting our personal red seas
God is capable of instantaneous and miraculous miracles. It becomes incumbent upon us to realize our citation, and what we can learn from it. Sooner or later we learn that the times and seasons of our personal journey in life are His. Are we able and willing to be humble and submit ourselves to His timetable? These questions reminded me of the Heart to Heart series I attended where we were asked to put ourselves in perspective.
Do we trust God in good times, and in bad? Even if that includes some suffering?
“Our lives cannot be faith-filled and stress-free.” (Neal A. Maxwell) Our lives cannot be all cupcakes and pony rides. It is through the refiner’s fire that we grow. It is through the discovery process of our own lives in diapers that we learn who we truly are.
I have found that diapers can be a tool of comfort for me. They balance me and help me to weather the storms of meetings, homework, busy, and life that comes at me each and every day. They also offer to me a continual test of faith and priority. I have promised to myself, and now to my wife, that I will not let diapers get between myself and the things that matter most to me. I will not allow a decision to be made where my choosing to wear would omit me from experiencing life’s more precious moments.
While conflict and pain is not a welcoming experience, we should welcome it. Once we have fortified and strengthened ourselves on a foundation of the Gospel and family we are able to take on the trails in life that make us and shape us into someone who is more useful to God and his Son. Answers come, but we must be patient. More so, we must be willing to hear and accept an answer that we were not expecting. If we have the faith to ask, do we have the faith to take the first step into the dark?
I know that I am a better person for each step into the dark I have taken. It has not been easy! Standing in front of my wife wearing a diaper was one of the most vulnerable experiences that I have ever had. It was not the first step, and will not be the last we take together in my life with diapers but I am better, we are better, because I took that step. Wherever you are on your journey I urge you to take the time to prepare yourself to ask what you can do to become more useful to God and his Son. In improving ourselves, our new creature, we are more useful to those around us and to God.
Take the first step