Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

A book from my childhood.  I had a day like that recently.  It didn’t start out that way, and it helped me remember that every day isn’t all cupcakes.  I’ve begun wearing onesies a little more often.  Not every time, but I rather enjoy how they “feel” when I have one on.  It extends the hug I feel from diapers that help me balance throughout the day.  

They are also a bit fun!

Half of my onesies are plain, white, and simple.  The other half are either colored or printed.  It has been interesting to see that the compliment my feelings towards wearing a diaper, and an additional internal (and often external) smile when I am wearing one.

Enter the day in question where I woke up around 3am with a migraine.  I have found that migraines make me want to feel comforted, and when I can bear the act of doing it I will put on a diaper.  Sometimes it is all I can do to find dark and quiet (the one time crinkle and loud tapes are not a good thing). I wore for the morning, and began to feel better.  I was working while she was also working at her desk on some training material.  I never felt like she was pulling away or that I was pushing diapers onto her, so she must have been hiding it well.  I absolutely do not feel that I was avoiding the notice of these feelings, but perhaps that was there as well.  

So how could this day possibly come off the rails to the terrible, horrible you ask?  A while back, before wearing any of them I talked with my wife about it.  I told her my intention was a way to keep the diaper in place while also providing some suppression of sound when I wore either in public or around our children.  Both of those times are not the majority of my wearing, but it does happen.  Her initial reaction was that she knew it was coming (I don’t know if she thought of this exactly, or just something).  It was seen as “one more thing,” and a continuation of how things would never settle.

That reaction pulled me back, and I didn’t wear the first one for some time.  Over time I began to try them, and found that I liked the experience and support they provided.  With time and usage they were more accepted and felt “okay” to wear so I have been while working from home.

She told me later that day that the onesie I was wearing was bothering her.  It made me pull back because, as always, the last thing I want to do is be flaunting a diaper and other ABDL traits or clothing where it made her uncomfortable in her own home.  Our conversation turned to other things, and it reminded me how important it is to keep things foundationally sound with your spouse.  We were able to have this conversation, but we were leaning hard against the work we put in with our relationship (withdrawing from that “bank of trust”)

She was on shift, and I was on a deadline during this whole conversation.  Both items came up around the same time, and we were not able to finish our conversation or get to a place where we could close the door on what was going on and pick the conversation back up at a later time. 

For one of the first times we haven’t been able to continue our conversation.  Both of our schedules are to blame.  I woke up the following morning and padded back up to go run a small event and do some work meetings.  My plan was to remove the diaper and the onesie when she was going to wake up and be around.  I didn’t want to flame any emotions she was having.  My luck would not be in my favor as I was still wearing when she woke up and came into my office.  In a very reactionary motion I grabbed for my sweats and put them.

My intentions and plans to not have diapers be present was further muddied by the fact I grabbed for my sweats.  Again we have working pulling us apart and continue to not be able to resolve the concerns that we both have, but do not know how to communicate.  

I try to end my posts with resolution, purpose, and direction.  This post I do not have it yet, but want to exercise my fingers in an effort to further understand my situation and what I must do.  I’m praying for direction and understanding of my next step and am putting my faith in my spiritual foundation for a nudge in the right direction.

My direction for my fellow littles would be to make sure you are doing everything you can to keep a happy and strong relationship between you and your spouse.  That way when the storms come you are prepared to weather the wind and the rain.  Shelter your spouse, and help them in whatever way you can.  I’m reaching for my answer in this particular situation, and I hope you are finding your way in your own struggles and battles we face as adult babies and diaper lovers.

Hang in there!

2 thoughts on “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

  1. Your comments on keeping the relationship healthy so that you have the wherewithal to weather storms is so on point. It took me years to understand that.

    Like

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