The burdens we choose to bear alone (when we don’t have to)

More often than not we choose not to leverage the power of the Gospel in our lives.  We make the choice to let go of the Iron Rod, and stumble in the dark.  This life is about gaining our mortal bodies, and learning through our own experiences and choices.  Through our strife, our troubles, our travesties, and our trials (as well as our joyful experiences) we learn who we truly are.  

Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul.

Ezra Taft Benson

That quote resonates so much with me because of the decades long battle I have fought regarding diapers in my own life.  I stumbled and struggled alone in search of an answer.  It wasn’t until I was able to vocalize to my wife how I felt and also find an amazing group of like-minded people that I found that I was not alone, and that struggling alone with diapers was not the best approach.

The same can be said about our choices to bear the weight of the diapered side of our life alone.  This is not something easy to share, and it took me over three decades to utter the words “I like to wear diapers” to another living person.  That person was my wife, and it was another four years after saying those words to her that we had our next conversation on the subject.  Even that one sentence empowered me to begin my journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance.  In the four year gap between beginning to share with my wife and our next conversation I was able to search out others (to see how alone I was or was not in my affinity for diapers).

Like many of us, Steve Wright carried the weight of something that he felt he could not share.  It was outside the normal view of “social acceptability” in his mind (I have done the exact same thing with my “big three” in my life as well).  He served as a mission president while bearing this burden inside of himself.  His journey included excommunication, divorce, and pain.  He fought decades with this struggle and he passed through a time in his life without membership of the Church where he more fully engaged in what he had held inside for so long.  I’m sure this brother prayed countless times for the burden to be removed, lightened, or at least further understood.  

Perhaps this can be one of the many lessons we can glean from his experience.  How are we praying, and what are we praying for?  Focus on your efforts on what you are hoping to attain from the answer you are asking for.  Do you need to consider whether your request may be too large to consume in one step?  Step back, and with the help of others build a plan that is both sustainable and achievable (set SMART goals).  

Bottom line, is know that you are NEVER alone.  We, all too often, choose to step away from the guiding hand of the Holy Ghost and the Savior.  Allow them to help.  Build foundations of trust where you can allow a loved one to help as well.  My life with diapers completely changed when I left my wife in.  

Standing, with her beside me, has made all the difference.  Even this brother who went through years and years of internal and external anguish had people standing with him as he reentered the waters of baptism.  

You are NEVER alone!

Photo by Umberto Shaw from Pexels

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