I have the hardest time with the word fetish as it relates to my ABDL side. The same goes for the word kink as well. We all have a word that we use to describe our connection with diapers, and I pull back when I hear people use the word fetish/kink.
Fetish is defined as “a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.” I absolutely see how ABDL/diapers are considered a fetish or a kink. I think the differentiation for me is the primary reason I reach for a diaper. I turn to them for comfort, peace, and a relief of my life’s stresses. For that reason, I believe, I balk at the term in my association with diapers.
For others, whose primary connection to diapers is sexual, I completely see how that is their word. I do have some sexual association with diapers. It is something I hope that my wife is able to become more and more comfortable with over time. We continue to take Baby Steps that bring understanding and acceptance with diapers in our relationship together. Right now, this very moment is a great example of this. My wife and I are sitting in the grass working on separate projects on laptops. I’m padded, she knows, and I do not feel any discomfort or anxiety around wearing with her, in public, right now.
What do I call my association or connection with diapers in my life? I have found the word that feels the most right is affinity. Affinity is defined as “a spontaneous or natural liking or sympathy for someone or something.” I find that I have a natural liking and attraction to diapers. This connection has existed for as long as I can remember.
I have heard others who associate their connection with diapers with words like quirk, attraction, and bond. While it is likely mostly semantics, it is important to me as I build and strengthen my understanding/relationship with diapers in my own life. I have found affinity feels right. For me this has helped me continue to normalize diapers in my life, and remove the stigma in my own mind.
What are diapers to you? What is your word?