My children, like many others, are drawn to our local ice cream shop. We drive past it most days, and so it constantly presents itself to my kids. Luring them in for an escape, a taste of something sweeter than they typically consume on a daily basis. I, like most other parents, limit the times that we frequent the shop. There are physical, emotional, and financial reasons for this.
Physical: I will be the first one to admit that I have the appearance of indulging in unhealthy food consumption. It is a constant battle that I have always had with myself. Deep down, I know better, but have allowed something other than common sense to rule my train of thought. That is convenience and hedonistic thinking. All too often we throw our best laid plans aside to “eat, drink, and be merry.”
Emotional: Dependence on something “too good” will skew our ability to copy and manage with real life. I believe, if we constantly indulge in something too sweet we cannot properly handle the rigors of our daily life. I, like many other ABDLs, reach for a diaper as a form of security and escape but I am ever so reluctant to allow my little to take control where I am making decisions that impact the larger scope of my life. A little ice cream is okay if we counter it with healthy living, exercise, and good choices. We have to be big enough to be little in our decision making.
Financial: Daily trips for ice cream will impact the financial security of a person or family. I know there are some ABDLs who wear 24/7, and I will not suggest or dictate to them what is healthy or not. It is not my job to balance their checkbook either. My only reason for including this in my current list is that diapers can be considered superfluous (more often by those around us). My wife understands more and more each day the benefit of me wearing a diaper, but I can understand how she could view them as an unnecessary expense. We have never had this conversation, but I often internalize and over analyze so much to make sure balance is kept with myself and my diapers to ensure long-term happiness for my family.
Back to the amazingness that is a trip to the ice cream shop.
I love taking my kids for ice cream! I have often found after our trips that the majority of the ice cream ends up in the freezer at the house. This brings me to two different places of thought.
1 – They are aware of their boundaries, and know when “enough is enough.” Am I staying conscious of my own life and where diapers are placed in my life? Do I know when I need to step back from diapers, and give more time to my family?
2 – It is more about the memory, conversation, and time together than it is about ice cream. The activity is much more important than the ice cream itself. I wear diapers for a few reasons, and learning to understand that better has been a big part of my journey. ABDLs are like ogres..they have layers. I have found that when I understand and accept part of myself that I am able to dig deeper in the role that diapers play in my own life.
Early on in my journey in diapers I would shame and beret myself (it still can happen on occasion). I know that most of you have also been there. In so many conversations with my kids I find that their answers are “I don’t know,” with no substance behind their thinking. We can dig, and sometimes find reasonings they are embarrassed of which leads to great conversations, but other times it really is just I don’t know. I have felt this myself with diapers. Sometimes I know why I am reaching for a diaper, and others I cannot rationalize the sensation.
Sometimes we just want to wear a diaper.
In life’s journey please allow yourself to be human. Please, please don’t be too hard on yourself. There is so much more power in positivity than there is in deprecation. You are your biggest critic, and the most critical evaluator of worth. We have to see ourselves as something before we can allow others to see us in a positive light as well. We must stumble, trip, fall, and hurdle our way through life. The bumps and bruises we gain along the way shape us into the man or woman that we become. When it is so much easier to point a finger or dismiss something as somebody else’s problem it is ultimately upon our own shoulders (even if those shoulders are connected to a crinkly, padded waist).
There are times that I just want to wear a diaper. You will have those times too. Just remember that diapers are like ice cream. They are sweet and comforting, but need to be managed in a way that we can live a happy and healthy life.