There are so many versions of this quote, but the last few times I heard it in a meeting or a Facebook post, or in passing it resonated with me in a different way.
Whatever we put out time, attention, and passion into will grow (whether that be healthy or destructive). So many time when we hear quotes like this we only thing about doing something good and having it become better.
In a financial meeting I sat in on recently someone said that you need to stop investing or dumping your money into things that do not provide value in your life. Similar to the plant/garden analogy illustrated above we must first recognize and admit what we are giving our attention to. What do we declare has value in our lives? Value and meaning that helps us become better? It is those things we deem valuable that we must water to grow.
Are we appropriately watering the plants of:
- How often do we neglect this one? Speaking for myself, all too often. Rarely do we think of ourselves. Without placing proper priority and value on ourselves we cripple our own ability to grow in any other area. If we don’t believe in our self, how can we expect anyone else to?
- Our loved ones
- Are we choosing enough time and opportunity to spend time with those people in our life that matter most? The small and simple moments are often the most powerful and impactful (often on ourselves). When those opportunities arise, find a way to help yourself hit that pause button and ask yourself what you are valuing most in that moment. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when we must work, and get things done but I think we place those things too high, too often.
- Our passions and hobbies
- Have you lost yourself? Do you remember that you enjoy? I think diapers are a way we try to regress and return to something simpler, or another part of our lives. This isn’t true for all Adult Babies or Diaper Lovers, but many of us are trying to replicate the innocence and simplicity of an earlier time.
- Our faith or spirituality
- What else brings us balance in life? While diapers do help balance me they are not my foundation for stability in my life. My faith, which I share with my wife and family brings harmony to our daily life. It affords a different perspective in the craziness of daily life we often endure, instead of enjoy. This is why I place diapers as a tool in my tool belt. Not THE tool, but a colorful crinkly tool in helping me be the best me I can. That version of myself can then be more useful to those around me and my Heavenly Father.
Most of us find the we water one more than others, or even neglect some all together. We must learn to balance our watering and also know when we are out of water. If we drain everything we have into others, and don’t leave time for ourselves we can be left vulnerable and suseptible to our shortcomings, addictions, or inner demons. Some of us leverage diapers is an effort to esacape or hide from some of these demons. For me, I am finding that diapers can help me weather a storm or calm me in stressful situations so that I can get some more water in my bucket.
At other times, I wear a diaper to feel happy. It isn’t because I’m stressed or hiding from something. Today, for example, I wore to run some errands, take care of some chores with my kids, and even at dinner with some family. I wasn’t wearing to hide, but to live.
I don’t wear everyday, but I’m learning that it is okay to wear when I want to. I feel like I lose that battle inside my head more than I win it, but I persist. I know that through continued positive experiences that I can feel more and more like myself while wearing a diaper. (especially around my spouse) Each positive experience with her, whether big or small, helps me build a foundation of confidence in my padded self.
Right now, after a full day of what I described above I find myself burning the midnight oil because of an emergent issue. I was wearing when I went to bed, and I am wearing now while I am working. I’m troubleshooting a bothersome issue, all while wearing a onsie with a monster printed diaper underneath it. These small things balance me, for a reason I completely do not understand, but when I allow myself to water or invest in my little side I can see the results. The more I am willing to allow myself to be myself the more I feel at peace with who I am. This would not be possible to the extent it is today without the support of my wife.
Are we watering something destructive? We must also be able to recognize that if we are doing something destructive to ourselves that if we continue to focus on it and give it attention that it will blossom. Are we choosing to water healthy things in our lives or do we feed the hedonistic and short-lived pleasures? Are we feeding an addiction that holds us hostage from happiness? Real, lasting happiness.
For myself I had to look at the role that diapers play in my life, and learn to hone in on what to focus on. Certain aspects of diapers have been great for my personal growth and overall happiness. While there are other aspects of ABDL that I either don’t presently connect with or understand. A teacher once taught me,
“In any moment of decision you can do the right thing, the wrong thing, or nothing.”
We all make mistakes, and the bumps and bruises we attain along the way is what makes mortality great! We must try, and in trying we learn about ourselves. That experience is what shapes us.