Not all pacifiers are pacis

We all have that thing that takes us to a place of peace.  For some of us it is an experience or activity.  For some of us it is an object.  What is your weighted blanket, diaper, or pacifier?  Through a little series of experiences I think I’m seeing something that provides that to my wife in a way that diapers comfort me.

Sitting here, in a “normal” day of too many monitors and tasks going on at the same time I find myself comforted, swaddled, enveloped in a bit of peace from the diaper that I am wearing.  I felt myself start to “wind up” and get stressed out, but I took a second and taped on a diaper before returning to the work I have in front of me today.  

I haven’t been doing this lately.  I’ve been trying to resist and make myself be okay with wearing a diaper.  I go through this cycle on occasion, and here I am again fighting against what I know diapers can and will do for me.  Padded, with some piano music in the background, I am better equipped to return to the work I have in front of me.  I have found that diapers serve as a great pacifier for me.  Much, much better than a pacifier does. 🙂

Even a little later in the day when I found a minute to reapproach my thoughts in text I had taken my diaper off to work out, and then had to talk myself back into wearing again.  Hopefully I can work better to not beat myself up when I feel like I need to wear them.  So interesting how quickly I let myself forget what they do for me, when I allow them to.  I know diapers, as well as some other ABDL-related items help me to connect with that comfort.  I continue to learn about my little side and how it wants to help me.

My wife got a weighted blanket for Mother’s Day.  She had tried one earlier this year, and had been raving about how much she enjoyed it.  Her profession requires her to not have the most consistent and reliable sleep schedule, so the kids and I got her one.  To say she is obsessed might be a bit of an understatement.

A few days ago she went back to sleep and my daughter gave her a stuffed animal to keep her company.  I went back and tucked her in with her “stuffie” and her blanket, and in that moment I realized she may be experiencing in some parallel what I experience with diapers.  Was she feeling “little” in her own way in that moment?  It made me smile seeing her like that, and it is little moments like this that help create the Baby Steps that have enabled us to grow together.

I look forward to the conversation, or how that comes back up at some later time.  I find more and more that slow and steady is the best approach for us, and as much as I absolutely want to just run in there and talk with her about it (calling out all the connections and ABDL in the moment) I’ve found it is better to pace myself.

How can you apply this in your ABDL life?  In conversations with other ABDLs I’ve found that many of us have found a version of drawing comparisons while sharing with our spouse.  This isn’t the easiest task, so be careful.  Your spouse may not want to associate anything they do with you and your wearing in any way.  Even if it makes sense to you, it may not to them.  Be gentle in your approach as you prepare and share your ABDL side.

Find something they enjoy, something that comforts them or brings them peace.  Perhaps it is a blanket, or that they really like their hair being played with.  Whatever that thing is can be a way to navigate the conversation of how diapers make you feel.  It will not be a 100% parallel, but there are emotional attachments that can be pulled from what diapers do for us, and what something else does for our spouse.  Listen, prepare, and pray about the best approach here.  Each of our own ABDL experiences are different.  Couple that with how different each of our spouses are and you’ll see that each of our approaches must be tailored specifically to our unique circumstances.  

Remember to always convey your love.

If you have an experience like this, or something that has really worked for you please feel free to share it in the comments or reach out to me.

Stay safe littles!

Photo by freestocks.org from Pexels

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