I find that most of the things I begin writing about are spurred by emotions that are stressful or painful. We are driven to change by crisis, and that makes us grow, but I wanted to take a minute and bask in the warmth of a wonderful morning.
Amidst life’s trials I feel whole and happy. Even though we are as busy as we normally are, staying up later than we should, I woke up this morning refreshed and going on a run. Part of the positivity I am experience comes from waking up diapered. After an event last night I padded up and debriefed (pun slightly intended) from the event. I find that it takes a few hours to relax from the excitement of the festivities so I decided to diaper up to help me relax. I enjoy the space they put me in, even when it isn’t “little space.” They bring me to a more balanced place where I am able to dial in on what I’m working on. I’m able to recover while still working. It seems like a silly thing, but I rarely have time to just unwind and do “nothing” so this resting work style seems to help keep me going.
Again, waking up diapered after the event and working until early the next morning helped me wake up in a good place. That good place got me laced up and on a run. Wearing a diaper and going on a run provide similar responses to my emotions. It is a different form of balance, and it is not typically relaxing at all, but I enjoy it nonetheless. I was able to push myself more than I have been lately on my run, and saw a pace similar to earlier in the year. It felt good to see progress because a knee setback has stymied by ability to run as much as I typically do the second half of this year.
Upon returning from my run I just felt great. It was a positive emotion with no lingering negativity. There were no mental reservations or self-imposed limits on my happiness. I don’t find this place very often, but it was a great few hours to share with my family. In large part, because it was contagious. I saw it in my wife as well. We were bouncing jokes back and forth, and just being generally more happy.
Part of me that smiles so much inside is that diapers are part of that. They played their part in my happiness. Later that afternoon I mentioned it to my wife, and she told me she recognized that I had worn and the associated effect of wearing. My biggest hope is for more of those enlightening moments where she can see the positive influence of diapers on my emotional state.
During this same conversation we also talked about how I talk about diapers with her. She let me know that I often over-share diapers to her. That I talk about them too much in the moment. I explained that this was most likely due to me trying to explain myself or help her understanding where I was coming from. I think smaller, more consumable conversations work better for her at this time. I will work to be mindful of that, and share accordingly.
Diapers still make her uncomfortable, and I don’t want to push her into a place she doesn’t want to be. More Baby Steps, mixed with time and positive experiences and emotions will help us continue to grow together with diapers.