Atop a mountain, thinking about other littles

I use the term littles generally, meaning ABDLs. I know there are distinguishing factors, but I feel like littles is much easier and nicer to say than ABDLs. Littles feels friendlier, feels more like family/community. Anyway..

I recently went on a hike.  What made this hike different than others I have taken in the past was the company.  One of the first ABDLs that I reached out to in my search for community still keeps in touch.  We touch base with each other on real life issues, which has made it a nice to have something other than diapers to discuss.  I still worried, most likely WAY TOO MUCH, about ever meeting this person and being able to discuss face-to-face some of the things that are so much easier to type onto a keyboard.

On a whim I messaged this person and invited him to go on a hike.  He accepted, and my nerves kicked up a notch. I thought about a few different aspects of meeting and talking with this person, and then the general “talking with strangers” aspect of things as well.  The rest of the day leading up to the hike as riddled with questions to myself.

  • Do I really want to do this?
  • Do I want them to actually see my face?
  • Do I share my name at that point?
  • Do I go padded?!

Obviously some of these questions were more important than others, but they all ran through my head.  Time, as it does, passed and the opportunity to bail on the hike came closer and closer. Against my normal, conservative nature, I held the meeting time and got ready for the hike.  Also against my better judgement I did pad up, with plenty of powder and body glide to help prevent any of the fun side-effects that the friction between human skin and diapers can cause.

I got to the trail head, and began waiting.  The doubts, worries, and fears all crept back in a little bit because I had one, last opportunity to back out.  I chose not to take that opportunity, and began talking with the first other Adult Baby I’d ever meet for more than two minutes.

We began walking, and I think the most refreshing part of it was that we began talking about many things, none of which were diapers.  It wasn’t until we took a break on the trail that I called him a baby that the subject even came up. It helped settle the initial worries about what to talk about, or would we be talking for the next hour about diapers.  Would we run out of things to talk about? Would it get weird half way through, and then what?! Diapers were the reason that we we walking and talking together, but it was not the driver of our discourse.

The conversation continued as we approached the end of the trail, at the top of a mountain.  Turning around and viewing the scene of a city coming to life at night made be begin to think about in all the lights off in the distance how many other littles were out there?  How many other Adult Babies or Diaper Lovers were settling in for their evening? How many of them are locked inside their own minds, not sure what they are or how to think. I remember feeling isolated and alone. Who could possibly understand me, and there is NO WAY there could be anyone else like me?!

I hope to meet more of them, and I hope that I can help some of them. We are so much better than we tell ourselves, and until we discover the community around us we feel alone and shameful for our connection to diapers.  I want to be able to scream from the top of that mountain to all those out there that they have community. They have friends that are ready and willing to listen. That they are not alone.

The validation and affirmation that we are not alone in the world has continued to help my own acceptance of who I am.  I like to wear diapers, and I now know with personal experience that there are others out there like me. Adult Babies that are able to walk their own path in life with a crinkle in their step.  Other littles who are able to balance adulting with the urge for wearing or regression. We are very different, but at the same time are brought together by a common thread that we share. We even made the comment that the likelihood of ever meeting without the connection of diapers was slim to non-existent.

That common thread makes us family. We have many different “families” in our lives. Some of us play softball, that is a family. The church we attend is another family we are part of. Our co-workers are the family that we often don’t get to choose. Each of these groups of people that we associate with become small communities and families. We care for each other and build each other up when we are pulling together. Our common thread is one very deeply ingrained in who we are as people. It is a deep bond, and connection that we share with people that we may never know. I am blessed to have now met one in-person and a number of other amazing individuals online whom I consider my friends. Some of you are definitely the crazy uncle, but every family has one or three of them.

You are good people, Littles.  Don’t let anyone, including yourself, tell you any different.  We all have things to work on, and that is part of the journey.  I know better now that we are not alone on that path. There are other padded souls out there that can help us be the very best version of ourselves.

In helping each other, we end up helping ourselves.

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