Marriage and diapers, or wanting to “grow up”

It is interesting to me to see how the urge and desire of diapers have come and gone throughout my life.  It may be partially opportunity and availability, and partially out of need. When I returned home from my mission I had the opportunity to wear more, and I remember being excited as it was one of the first things I did when I was presented with the opportunity.  

I’ve found that diapers become an outlet for stress and comfort.  I have other parts of my life that provide those things, and sometimes I need diapers less.  I have gravitated to some of these other things, and I don’t want diapers to take away from my enjoyment of other parts of my life.  Again balance comes into play.

I don’t know if I’ve told this part of my story, but it came to mind today so I wanted to share it.  Again, after returning home from my mission and getting back to school I went and bought the old, reliable six-tape Depend “briefs” that I had worn previously.  It was good to be back in them with the little frequency that I did wear them. Quickly my circumstances changed and I found I didn’t have the opportunity to wear them anymore.  I began dating my wife, and diapers became a memory and something I didn’t need or want. I don’t remember having that urge or desire to them for some time after beginning college.  

I’m sure I had the conversation inside when I was getting married, that like most others I was going to suppress my urge for diapers because of my wonderful fiance.  I would make it go away, and move on. Perhaps, “grow up” if you will. I remember even worrying about what I would do when my children were born and diapers were in my home.  Perhaps that is when it came back more, I honestly can’t remember. The point I want to convey, is that they did come back.

Most ABDLs I talk to have a similar story.  It WILL come back. It will only be a matter of time before the desire returns, and it did for me.  Lucky for me Depend had decided to discontinue that diaper and I found cases of them for a heavy discount.  I was able to have diapers in a very infrequent basis, and not have to purchase them for years. It wasn’t until much later when I first told my wife I liked to wear diapers that I began to look anywhere else for them, and discovered my first ABDL diapers.

For those littles that haven’t shared, and are hoping it will just go away… or to the loved ones of an ABDL wanting to “fix” their partner please understand that it has been my experience, coupled with the experience of others that it does not go away.  If you fight it and cannot begin to gain a comprehension or understanding for what it is providing you emotionally then it can fight back. That fighting back will come in the form of confrontations internally or as a couple.

Be strong, be bold, and be brave enough to begin to have the conversation.  Loved ones, PLEASE create an environment of trust where your spouse, fiance, or boy/girlfriend can open up and begin to communicate.  MANY times, this is the first time they are vocalizing it!

The course of action I am now taking is how to incorporate and make it part of a healthy life for me and my wife.  We are taking Baby Steps, and they continue to pay off.  I know I can be brave, because my wife has shown me how brave she is to walk into the dark with me.

We will continue to learn and grow together!

Photo by Tom Swinnen from Pexels

4 thoughts on “Marriage and diapers, or wanting to “grow up”

  1. I had told my wife when we were dating, not wanting to surprise her after we made our covenants to God and to one another. Sadly for my wife, I had told her of it as a thing of the past, because this time, I honestly thought it was in the past, and would remain there. But it didn’t, and I ended up surprising my wife all the same. It’s been difficult for both of us, and it has been a wall between us for some time. But as we have begun to confront it together rather than try and side step my thoughts and desires concerning diapers, we have begun to break down that wall, very slowly, very cautiously, but as it has, we have definitely drawn closer to one another.


    1. I really thought that I would be able to leave diapers behind when I got married. It was such a big change in life, and I truly wanted to. I understand how you would say what you did before you got married. That is just as hard to come back as it is revealing to your wife, as I did, years after getting married. Each situation is different, and I don’t know if we would have turned out like we did if I would have talked about this while we were dating. The blessing is that while we dated, I didn’t think about it. It wasn’t part of me.

      I believe the strength of our marriage and relationship is what has made our conversations possible at this point in our lives, our struggle is real and it is different, but I can empathize with what you are experiencing.

      Slow and steady wins the race. Continue to be cautious, and ever-mindful of our spouse and her feelings. Make sure she continues to feel your love for her through all of this. Feeling my wife’s love through these experiences has helped me weather the storms that come. How awesome, that despite the struggle and the difficulties, you feel like you are becoming closer.

      Stick with it DL!


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