Life changing behavior is often brought about by life-changing events, or crisis. We are seldom able to push ourselves in the right direction without a rather abrupt and urgent push for change. We enjoy the comfort of our current situations, even when they are bad ones, to want to change.
Change, even GOOD change, is hard and painful.
This connects with our affinity because there is often a big motivator for us to share our desire to wear diapers. Whether that is an internal or an external motivator, it comes. We often feel it a crisis because we have been comfortable for so long in what we have done. Despite the shame and paint we find solace inside ourselves. We have conditioned ourselves over time, even when we don’t have a full understanding of what we are feeling.
The emphasis on “my” in I Glory in MY Jesus denotes the importance of the personal relationship between the sinner and the Savior. Without a personal testimony of the Atonement, true change cannot occur. It is the personalization of the relationship we have with our Savior and Redeemer that will enable us to truly change, or even feel like we can approach Him for change. It provides a huge introspection opportunity for me to consider the desires of my heart.
Our intent then comes into play. When we pray for true change, for saving change, our intent and purpose changes. “I prayed constantly” or referencing Enos’ prayer, or any of the other accounts in the scriptures that show intense prayer with purpose. My favorite explanation of prayer with intent comes from Henry B. Eyring’s talk As a Child.
I prayed, but for hours there seemed to be no answer. Just before dawn, a feeling came over me. More than at any time since I had been a child, I felt like one. My heart and my mind seemed to grow very quiet. There was a peace in that inner stillness.
Somewhat to my surprise, I found myself praying, “Heavenly Father, it doesn’t matter what I want. I don’t care anymore what I want. I only want that Thy will be done. That is all that I want. Please tell me what to do.”Henry B. Eyring
After we pray with intent, we must then act. Action requiring faith. It is commonly referred to as “exercising faith.”
What does it mean to exercise faith?
Exercising is painful at first. It takes a mental victory to try in the first place. Something we almost immediately regret. Sometimes that happens in life as well. We finally decide we are ready to make a change, we feel good for a very short honeymoon period, and then almost immediately something happens that causes regret. This setback is usually something very small, but it pokes its head to discourage us in our new effort. We must have mental stamina and a support group available to help us overcome the initial hit that WILL come.
After we overcome that initial hit tomorrow comes, and it is time to work out again. The workout is even harder the second and third time. We are sore, we hurt, our bodies are not accustomed to the new rigor of work. In life, the hits will continue to come as we make choices to better ourselves mentally, physically, and spiritually. It will be uncomfortable as we are not conditioned to work in this way. Even spiritual scripture study can be taxing and we will be mentally drained from the effort.
Then we turn a corner. A workout, run, or exercise hurts a little bit less than it did the last time. Endorphins kick in, and we have even more push to do better. That coupled with the physical manifestations of change push us to continue our journey of growth. The hits that previously came feels less than it was before. Not that the nature of the pain and heartache has changed, but our ability to cope, manage, and remove it has improved.
We will stumble, we will fall, and at times we will feel failure. It is up to us whether we will allow it to be a stumbling block in our lives, or just a pebble for us to kick off the road.
“That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do—not that the nature of the thing has changed, but that our power to do has increased.”Ralph Waldo Emerson
We find the Savior, and ourselves, in our darkest hour. Why? The contrast between light and dark. The purpose of life is experience, and some of the life lessons we receive we cannot learn but through the drastic difference between light and dark. We don’t know how good we truly had it until we are without it.
Why must it take the worst of us to bring out the best in us? The Prodigal Son teaches us a lesson of dichotomy. We are most often activated by crisis, and that is when our best or worst self can appear. How can we truly experience joy if we haven’t ever had to experience pain? The hope for us as parents is that our children will not have to experience the drastic experience that the Prodigal Son did, but when we look inside it is those kinds of experiences that often form our own lives.
During our darkest moments as Adult Babies and Diaper Lovers we push ourselves deep into the darkest corners and our minds. In these moments of shame we come to a moment of decision. We will either delve deeper into despair, which I have done more than once, or we can choose to begin the journey out of the pain and anguish that comes from misunderstanding ourselves and diapers. The beginning will be hard, and it will hurt. Much like exercise we will look for the quickest and easiest excuse or “out” to escape the pain of change. It will likely get worse before it gets better, but we must persist until we feel change occurring. It will take time, prayer, and internal searching for a personal relationship with the Savior to help us begin to change. A change that must come from within.
“The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature.”Ezra Taft Benson
“Yes, Christ changes men, and changed men can change the world. They set fire in others because they are on fire.”President Harold B. Lee