Heart to Heart, Principle 2 (part 1)

Because of the holiday we did not meet for our class this past week.  It has stretched out the new pattern of study that I have been employing the last few weeks into two weeks instead of one.  I have appreciated the renewed structure and purpose in my studies. It has been something I wake up for.  Almost every morning I find it at the front of my mind. My first movement is to my desk to open back up my books, and continue my 10-15 minutes of personal meditation through study begins. 

During a conversation and class today the topic of self-care came up, and a meditation or breathing exercise was performed. It was a great experience because I don’t take the time for something as simple as that.  I have found that my studies in the morning bring me to a place akin to where I found myself during that exercise. I am probably the worst person to be talking about self-care and making real time for ourselves. It is something I strive to improve, and my wife is probably tired of bringing it up because it has been one of the hardest things for me to improve on (I won’t even say master because I have so much work to do in this area).

I learned this week that I think I don’t do it because I am afraid of letting someone, anyone else down.  Because of that I rarely will allow time for myself to work on myself. Even if that time is just breathing/relaxing.  I don’t have a clear path and plan yet, but I know that I need to change something in order to achieve better long-term personal success.

Diapers do help me bridge the gap in our daily craziness.  Yesterday was one of those days. I find myself in the middle of a number of trails.  Plural, and coming from different places. Nothing seems to be off limits presently. While I feel like I needed a day or two in order to just catch up, and find some time for the little things that need attention, something else presents itself as important.  Here I find myself again, not allowing myself dedicated time or rest and reset, in order to help someone else. In this case, it was for one of the best reasons, my kids. We got to spend time together, but I wasn’t able to have the day I had planned (or more accurately, had lack of planned anything structured in an effort to relax).  It is in these days of extra crazy I find that diapers can step in and give me balance and rest during the crazy.  

I didn’t plan on wearing a diaper yesterday.  I got up, studied, worked out, and tried my best to get things going on the right foot.  I remained empty after all of these things, but pushed towards getting ready for our day.  The thought entered my mind to wear, and immediately after putting one on the emptiness changed where I now felt hope.  I was filled, even a bit, with the self-assurance that I would be able to handle today, and things would be great! Even though another hit did come at the end of the day, I would consider the overall emotion of the day was success.

I turned to my notes of this week from my studies, and wanted to share one of them with you.  Here is a portion of one of my studies.

2 Nephi 2:2

  • The more experience we receive in life, the more perspective we are able to garner that trials mold us into who we are.  It is seen in civilizations as well. Trials and hardships bring communities together, and shape bonds. People helping people, while remove the typical viel of hate, dislike, or dissonance.  
  • Last weeks verse “10/22/2019 – Alma 26:12” talked about the quick fixes of the world.  If we only seek the quick fixes for gain then we do not understand and appreciate what we have.  A wealthy child may never truly appreciate the gift and value of money because they have never been without it or asked to work for it.
  • Jacob was born in the wilderness.  Not the cushy safety of Jerusalem.  He knew trials, and that is partially how he knew the greatness of God.  It takes time for us to realize that it becomes our choice how we will react to affliction.
    • Viktor Frankl wrote in his book “Man’s search for meaning” that the last human freedom is agency.  We cannot always choose the situation or circumstance we are in, but we can choose how we will react to that situation.
      • “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
      • “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
      • “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”
      • “Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it”

I hope that when presented with trials the way that the Savior and Viktor Frankl have been that I am able to stand tall, and present myself in a similar fashion.  On a day planner from my mission I came across a quote this past week I had written that said, “Today I will strive to be the missionary my mom thinks I am.”

Stand tall littles, the Savior walks with you, and loves you!

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