I have a number of ideas for posts that I write down when I know that I don’t have time to actually draft out a post. This title was one of them, and I noticed a bit of a theme in some of the other titles without content in my list.
The longer that I have been writing about wearing diapers and my little side I find that I am looking for the positive returns to wearing. I focused so much in my youth and earlier in adulthood about the WHY which pointed me to the shame I would feel as I saw myself diapered that I never allowed myself the space to see the positive return on investment that diapers afford me. One of these realizations came when replying to an email from a fellow DL.
“One of the biggest conversations with my wife is the emotional association that I have with diapers. I have told her “I want diapers, but I don’t want to want diapers.“ Confusing, but the point comes across. She is learning that while I don’t necessarily WANT to be in them all the time, there is something they do for me. I am slowly pointing those times out to help her understand. I try hard not to use them as a crutch, and be a big boy the majority of the time, but there are times when I diaper up and feel the calming comfort they bring. Recently I was able to knock out a BUNCH of work I didn’t want to do, and I know that wearing a diaper during that time helped me stay calm and focused to get it all done. They have this ability to center me and keep me dialed in.”
Realizing that there is a connection with my mental well-being, happiness, and stability has helped me remove some of the shame from wearing. There are still times when I step out of my little self, and wonder why I am doing what I am doing. One of the greatest changes in the last few months is now I am feeling the acceptance and understanding of my wife. I don’t feel that indirect shame from what she may or may not be thinking about me. She is showing me through her words AND actions to the diapered me that it is okay, and that she still loves me.
A recent quote I am liking more and more states, “talking is not trying.” We must be ready and willing to take that next step and actually show our support for our little or show our little side to them and be able to explain and show them what diapers do for us. This two-way street has been very powerful, and I would not be able to do it without the support of my wife.
I do want to point out that there are many things that happened to lead up to this point. Most ABDLs cannot just jump into the “I like to wear diapers” conversation without first priming your relationship and making sure you are both standing firmly on the same foundation. Please read “Long-term happiness, for the little & their spouse” as these are some of the Baby-steps that I think are vital to the success in sharing your little side with your spouse.
Bottom line, you have to become comfortable with yourself, and understand what diapers are doing for you. When that has been established you can begin to grasp the positive aspects of diapers, as well as other transformational objects that ABDLs use, and their effects on your life and the lives of those around you.