During Church services today the theme of choice was repeatedly spoken about in relation to our families. I began to think about choices that I make and the impact those choices have on myself and those around me. In relation to the struggles that we can feel as an Adult Baby and/or Diaper Lover I came to the conclusion that I am responsible for the ultimate choice for putting a diaper on. There are many emotions, urges, and pressures that accompany that choice, but in the end the choice is ours. I do not want to over simplify any of these choices because I know how complicated and hard it can feel, and at times the associated shame that comes from our attraction or pull towards diapers and our little side, but we have the power and can become stronger in making choices that create lasting, long-term happiness.
When building meaningful and healthy relationships with ourselves as well as our families we CHOOSE on a daily basis how important the following things are:
Communication – How are we projecting, verbally and non-verbally to those around us. This ties in well with a blog post I made for this week around communication. In short, the majority of what we communicate does NOT come out of our mouths. Choose to communicate love, choose to show that by word and deed.
“Talking is not trying.” We must engage and act upon who we want to be, and the people that we want our family to be. Through our actions upon what we profess to be our convictions will truly speak to the hearts and minds of those around us.
Expressing mutual respect – Respect is gained through allowing for opportunities in our lives for respect to be gained. Not through fear of repercussions. Extending the opportunity for respect to our little side, our spouses, and our children will help establish and build healthy, long-lasting relationships that are capable of weathering the storm of uncertainty and trouble when those times come. It is not if, but when those times will occur. We must build that foundation upon the rock of the Gospel and good choices to weather the storms that will rage.
Setting clear roles, and being aware of responsibilities – Establishing roles and responsibilities help provide structure not only to ourselves but to those around us. If we do not define these roles and expectations, how can we expect our family to be able to live up to the expectations we have mentally set in our minds. Also, we must set these same guidelines in our own lives.
In speaking with another little I learned that these exceptions and limits can be as simple as frequency of wearing to balance a healthy personal and family life. We all know ourselves best, and are the best person equipped to understand what our own limits are. We will find that we will push our own boundaries, but we have to be able to express restraint for ourselves. Through a healthy relationship with our spouse, we can have them help us. They can help keep us accountable, and the trust that will be felt through sharing your burdens with your spouse will be appreciated when communicated in the right way.
Adapting to Stress – Stress will manifest itself in many different forms. It can be a grain of sand that annoys us in our shoes, or it can be an open wound that is much more public in nature. Both create stressors on our own life, and the lives of those within our sphere of influence. Learning our own triggers and coping mechanisms to stress will make us better shepherds of our own soul and the souls around us. “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
Family time is high in both quality and quantity – We need both many opportunities to be together as a family, as well as quality times together. It is not enough to be in the same room, all plugged in to different devices to spend time “together.” We must engage with our loved ones in quality, relationship building activities.
We also must take this same time and care with ourselves. I find that I personally lack in this aspect of a healthy life. Carving out time for yourself. Making quality opportunities for you to keep yourself happy and balanced is vital to a foundation of being capable of making good choices. If we are not in a good place, how can we expect to be able to manage and direct others.
Having time is one thing, but what we choose to do with that time is a completely different matter. I’ve quoted Tony Stark before but it still rings true, “No amount of money can buy a moment of time.”
We all must make the decisions to provide for our families spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially. It is not ONE choice, but a life-long string of choices that we make consciously each and every day. Take the time for the things that matter most.
Choices are sometimes categorized into Good, Better, and Best. Just because something is “good” doesn’t mean that it is the right choice long-term for us. Take a little more time, invest a little more, strive for what is better or best.