In our Church the young men are “Called To Serve” when they turn 18 to dedicate two years of their lives as missionaries. Young ladies are able, but not requested/required to serve when they turn 19 and for eighteen months. These two are an opportunity to grow as a person through selfless service to the people of a different State or Country. My mission afforded me many opportunities to learn about myself, and grow as a person. Times like these we learn what matters most to us in life, and what we truly care about.
Also during this time many missionaries feel the weight or burden of service that is placed upon them as they take upon themselves the name of the Savior. They are tasked with sharing the message that Jesus Christ taught while on the earth. That is a tall order for any person, let alone the 19 year-old that I was when I began my mission.
The phrase “Called To Serve” stuck with me this morning, and I looked forward to my Sister who is preparing to serve as well as into the past with my own service as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints. While drawing a parallel between my faith and my little side, and coupled with a discussion my wife and I had this morning I realized that many ABDLs feel the burden of what wearing diapers in their lives.
“I want to wear diapers, but I don’t want to want to wear them” is a phrase that I find that I’m saying more and more. I believe that most Adult Babies and Diaper Lovers are in the same boat. Diapers or having a little side has been part of who we are for the entirety of our lives. We have never known any different. While we discover it at different times of our life, most ABDLs carry the burden of a desire to wear diapers with them.
How we cope with and contain that desire molds who we are. It is an opportunity, like most others in life, where we can make the choice how we will respond to the situation we find ourselves in. Some of us run from them, try to hide them from ourselves, or deny that it is part of who we are. These decisions cause a butterfly effect, or disambiguation, as we continue to make decisions that lead us down a path of what kind of ABDL we will be.
I am thankful that while I traveled this road alone for many years that I am now joined by a loving wife that is helping me along the way. I continue to discover who I am, and how I can make that person the best self for my wife and my family (a few of the pillars to what matters most to me in life). She asks me questions that I have internally thought about many, many times, but once they are vocalized I begin to think about them differently. Explaining and providing context behind something that i’ve felt for so long helps me become a better person. She challenges me, and helps me be a better person.
This road is best traveled with others. Most of us spend the first few decades of our lives walking the road alone. We are confined within the wall of our own mind. These thoughts plague and taunt us as we often shame ourselves, because we MUST be the only person who would be like this. Many of us also grew up before the Internet was as prevalent as it is today which furthered the isolation. Vocalizing or expressing our experience helps us on our path to acceptance and understanding.
Today the Internet has many outlets (some more interesting than others) to help us understand that not only are we not alone, but there is a community of support out there. With this blog I throw my hat in the ring as well. If you need someone, please reach out. I am thankful for the ones that helped me learn about myself so I can now have better conversations with my wife.
When things feel too hard, and you feel the burden weighing you down, remember that there will always be someone by your side. Jesus taught:
30 For my yoke is aeasy, and my burden is light.