I doubled up last night as I was very hydrated. While getting ready this morning I found that my most outer layer was still dry. I don’t typically wear at work, but decided it was ready to go and so was I. I enjoy the space that I am in when adulting in diapers. I feel like that should be a topic all to itself. I am able to get work done, and balance my workload all while padded. There is a small part of me as a waddle around that enjoys hiding in plain sight while my diaper also provides a level of comfort for me that I feel that I’m getting better work done while padded. While walking through an office I noticed that I indeed was waddling just a bit out of my normal gate, and wondered if anyone would notice. I, like many, tend to blow things out of proportion when thinking of anyone else will ever see me wearing while I am in public. I highly doubt anyone will notice or give it a second glance, as this particular diaper doesn’t have a lot of crinkle when under a pair of jeans.
Back to me walking around… After thinking/worrying about everyone else seeing my padding on I then began to think about how many people I have walked by without knowing that they were in a diaper. How many friends have I walked by that I will never be able to share that connection with because of how private and worried we all are as Adult Babies and Diaper Lovers? How much more of a community would I/could I have in real life if we knew others who shared our desire to be padded?
I don’t know or think there are many other ABDLs around me, but if the last numbers I read that project around 1 in a 1000 people have a propensity to wear diapers then statistically there should be at least a few around me. How would those walls break down? How would my relationship with that person change if I knew? We share this commonality, but would that be enough? We group together around diapers, but we are all so much more than the diapers we wear. Would our common diapered bottoms be enough to cross many other stereotypes of norms that we experience in life? Isn’t that what makes a true friend?
It scares me to death, like many others, to have someone else “know” but at the same time I think we want people to know. There is comfort and power for ourselves in sharing who/what we are with others. I have one particular friend that I’ve made online that the more we discuss, and the closer we get, the topic of anonymity has come up. We both feel a level of comfort and the same level of “AHHHHHHHH” inside when considering bringing the veil of anonymity down between us. There is no going back, but we all want/need somebody to lean on.
Hopefully that person is your spouse, if you are married. I am on that journey now, and continually hope to be strengthening my relationship with my wife and her understanding (and hopefully an eventual acceptance of me and my little self). If it is not, or cannot, be your spouse then I encourage you to reach out to the community and find someone you can talk to. (You can reach me by leaving a comment here or send me a DM on Twitter) There is so much power in communicating out loud something that you have internally dealt with for years or decades. That power unlocks so much understanding and self-acceptance. We can truly begin to understand ourselves. Once we understand ourselves, we are at a place where we can then share it with the ones we love. Many of us have been there, but how can you explain and share something intellectually or with much depth, if we do not understand it ourselves. I think we all believe we know, but once we vocalize it, and start to explain it to someone else so much more comes out. We realise there is so much more to it than the conversations we have had internally our entire lives.
While we may never meet in person, if you need a friend please reach out. Talk to someone. I’m here as well as the rest of the ABDL community. Build a foundation of understanding internally, and you will be able to live your best life as you know what diapers and your little side actually mean to you. I’m learning that I think my little wants to help me, and I need to figure that out so it can.