This began as an ending to Is this what it feels to be “little” But the more that I write I see that it may stand on its own. So I asked myself the question above. Should I expect this to evolve? Has it already? The quick answer is I don’t know.
This has caused me to think about questions requiring definitive answers like “do you want to wear them all the time?” I think as I answer them because there has never been a set interval or frequency where I’ve wanted to wear. Sometimes it is one diaper, and back to life. Other times it is a number of them, or wearing multiple days perhaps not even in a row but with some frequency. I don’t think there has ever been a definitive pattern in my association with diapers. So my answer is presently that I do not anticipate wearing daily nor do I think our life affords that. We are too busy, and there are so many other things going on that I cannot see myself wearing on a daily basis.
This I believe then has a role in my question about if I am an Adult Baby. Historically as I have thought about it, and minimal experimentation I found that I have not had a connection with Adult Baby play. Especially to the level of infancy. That is where I’ve had a hard time with the term “little.” The Pull-ups song plays in my head as I type this, “Mommy wow, I’m a big kid now.”
Earlier in life I could take or leave any frills. They actually were more awkward to me. I have slowly gained an appreciation and liking to colorful and printed diapers. Something that I had not connection with in the past. I think they are cute, and the more I learn the more I believe they are putting me in the “space” I want to be when wearing. There are times that I am in a diaper, and completely adult and professional. It actually makes me smile because no one else is the wiser that I am any different than I am on any other occasion.
I never thought I would interact with anyone regarding this, but now I have spoken in some detail to my wife about it. Not knowing she was doing do I explained in “Baby Steps” that my spouse put me into a space by feeding me ice cream. Something I was not expecting at all. Was that always there or is that a progression/evolution of my association with wearing diapers? The thought of playing in that space as a little still makes me uncomfortable, but perhaps it is because I haven’t experienced it and shared it with someone. I do not know the answer, but I hope to find out through Baby Steps.